So my landlord calls me today. "Can I take a person through the apartment tomorrow? " "Um. Sure what the heck." then she drops the bomb:
"BTW, i heard that there is significant activity in the apartment below you"
"um... well they have their bad days"
"Right, but apparently a LOT of teens go in and out of that place AND the cops have been there numerous times"
"Well yes, but i haven't seen the cops since i first moved in."
"We have friends in the neighborhood still and they said that it's completely out of control."
"Yeah it's bad. They'll scream a lot (the brother and sister hate each other i think) and things slam and bang a lot. They've slammed the doors so hard it makes the floor in my computer room shake"
"Why haven't you told us about this before?"
"Uh well i didn't think it's my place"
"oh i understand why you'd feel that way but you really shouldn't, because as a tenant you live there too, dear."
"True. But i just don't want to get dragged into it"
"I understand. How bad has it been?"
"Uh pretty bad."
"Yes my friends said that the eldest girl ran out in her underwear the other night screaming call the police!"
"Uh... i wasn't around for that one. I must have been out." (seriously i missed that show, thank god).
"Is this why you're moving out? I mean other than to live with your boyfriend?"
*wtf?? I'm not moving in with my boyfriend, lady! My mother would skin me alive... ROFL... where did you get that from? ROFL!*
"Uh well it's one reason..."
*me feeling guilty because i also think they're lousy landlords about getting anything done*
"...And I'm moving in with a friend"
* might as well grasp onto her crazy idea. Its an easy out of the conversation. Look at me big fat liar. I don't want to make the landlord feel bad... my lord, the guilt my mother's created for me making people feel bad has indeed warped in strange ways ROFL!*
"Well if that's true, as a landlord i certainly don't want that as something my next tenant should have to put up with"
"Uh, yeah i guess not."
*now I'm thinking oh crap she's going to evict them and they're going to hunt me down and shiv me... or "Knife a bitch" as D likes to say lol. trust me these kids are crazy enough to do it.*
"Well thank you for being so candid, i wish you had told me sooner..."
*right cuz you really got on that faucet problem*
"...I'm going to call them tonight and let them know that I'll be on the premises tomorrow and using my legal right as the landlord to do a walk through and inspect my property..."
*again this is the sound of my head popping as I'm thinking about how pissed the unstable people downstairs are going to be and how much shouting will be happening*
(she then proceeds to tell me the life story of the neighbor downstairs and how she was sad because she thought she could trust him and blah, blah and quizzes me about how often the kids are there, how noisy they are and so on... i don't remember most of it)
"...Hmm well I'll have to speak with him"
"Um, can you NOT mention me?"
"What's that dear?"
"Could you NOT mention that you spoke to me. I have to live here still and I'd rather not be involv-"
*her shocked, as if this is an odd request*
"Well of course, I'll just tell him folks in the neighborhood, because we do still have friends in the neighborhood and they are the ones that pointed this out"
*great lady, cuz they won't see through that crafty twist of words*
"Uh ok great, thanks."
"Ok well I'll call you tomorrow and take the lady through then"
*crap now i have to clean and see if i can move into my new apartment sooner because i SOOOO don't want to be around when this shit hits the fan*
THIS was my morning wake-up call... GAGHHH!!