a case of the blahs
So it's the middle of winter. Apparently we just passed the most depressing day of the year. I guess there actually IS a day in which the majority of people are depressed (but i talked about that last year at this time). Now while i was not depressed on said day, i have to say I've been bumming since.
First off my stress level is through the friggen roof. I won't get into details (cuz i don't use my journal to air dirty laundry, that's just not me) i will say that i feel bad because one friend is feeling sad that we forgot her, and hopefully she realizes that it wasn't done on purpose and that we do care for her deeply and will make it up to her somehow. So that's been weighing a bit heavily on my shoulder (feeling bad over making my friend feel bad).
not to mention another friendship mess on a totally unrelated front where someone seems to think that no one should be happy if he is not happy. Or at least that's how it looks to me. Which is sad, but that's stressing me out too, cuz i can't help but feel bad that this person feels this way and that sad person seems to think the answer to his problems is to cut another friend off completely. Which is retarded, and makes me want to yell at the guy. I'll see him at a party later this weekend, it's going to be very hard to keep my mouth shut, but i shall... which of course has piled MORE tension onto my back.
Finally work is work. I love my job, but the red tape crap that comes with it some days is enough to put me into a wretched mood 24/7. Not to mention my boss is driving my co-workers nutty and that makes me feel more stressed out, as i get to listen to them bitch, when I'm trying to take a minute and "detox".
My one moment of zen does come from the comic book world. I've become editor for webisode 21 at awesome storm justice, but there's so much clean up to do with that issue, that i donno what the heck is going on yet. So until i get my feet there (which i almost thing i have), there's more stress.
I guess all of it piled up on me hard last night. My immune system was down and i was slapped up side the head (well stomach would be more appropriate) with the stomach bug that all the kiddies have been carrying around this past week. I nearly tossed my cookies a number of times, and finally managed to pass out on the couch while watching reruns of the x-files. But the stress headache continues...grrr.
My one bit of happiness from this week did come from last night's sickfest though. Jesse stuck around and nursed me back to health. The poor dear. He got me Kleenex and a plastic bag (you know in case i didn't make it to the bathroom), water and Tylenol. I have to say, he was a damn good nurse. Of course, my stupid stress didn't go down too much, as i felt guilty that he had to help me out. So sweet, sometimes i wonder if i deserve him.
he kept asking if he should go get me something. I was like, no no... I'll snap out of it (i didn't snap out of it until 11pm and honestly i still feel a bit light headed). i have to say, i really love that boy. Such a good guy.
Anyway, what i need is a good night's sleep. No work crap. No drama. just me, my pillow and my blankie...
ahhh now that sounds like heaven.