Brain Freeze sans Ice Cream
So i decided to go outside today.
I should have stayed home sick. The SECOND i went outdoors BAM a face full of pollen and i was down screaming "MEDIC!!"
The only way to describe my springtime nightmare to non-allergy sufferers is to compare it to ice cream brain freeze. The bridge of your nose beings to push out from the inside. Then it spreads over your eye like a mask until arching up into your ear which it begins to fill with a pressure that i can only guess is similar to that which airplanes give folks. And you crumble.
BUT thankgod for Sudafed.... or so i thought. Until today while walking across campus from lunch i saw a wave... and entire WAVE of pollen sweep through the quad like a dust storm. I'm not kidding all that was missing was a tumble weed (i suppose rag-weed will suffice) and i thought... dear christ... even sudafed can't help us now.
For the past three years I've been noticing a thin layer of yellow on the cars. This was not there before that and oddly enough, neither were my allergies. I grew up in the backwoods and for 90% of the year i'm fine. I'm an outdoor nutter who has no problems in dusty barns mucking out stalls, but 3 years ago it began. This weird influx of yellow crap all over our cars, in my eyes, up my nose and BAM i've become sudafed dependant. I ask you, what horrible thing have we done to our planet now that's cause this? AND CAN IT PLEASE STOP! Its so nice out today an i'm hiding in my office because at least i can breathe the fake recycled air down here without feeling as though my eye is about to pop from its socket.
Forget global warming, someone needs to keep these fricken plants from overrunning us!! Down with Miracle Grow! No more bio-engineered super plants, i'm being suffacated! ARGHHH! Okay, rant over. I'm gonna go find my kleenex.