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Thursday, December 01, 2005/12:24 PM

So I recently have gotten back into my Superman roots. I use to LOVE Superman (mind you I was five). But sadly cynical Ielle took over and krypton favorite son quickly became a dud in my eyes. I mean those leotards... yikes! But Bryan Singer (Usual Suspects, X-men, X-Men United) who has taken over the comic book film franchise, has decided that he will try his hand at bring Superman back to life. At first I was a bit miffed. I mean I love Christopher Reeve. He's sexy, he's bumbling, he's... Clark Kent/Kal-el! Well, for Superman I and II at least. But then I thought to myself, Singer did wonders with "Wolvie" and the other x-ers. Lets see what he can do.

That was until I saw this:

it's worse than the Clooney-nippled batman. I want to puke. I mean yes, I've always had a problem with Superman suit. It's very... um... pretty? But now it's worse. And if this wasn't bad enough, our hero... is scrawny. Look I have nothing against thin men (as my of my ex boyfriends will prove). BUT COME ON! This is the man of steel? I could kick his ass. If he didn't have the abs for it, couldn't we have faked it, like they did in Batman for Keaton with the whole chest plate thing?

Kal-el, say it ain't so. Tell me you were on your way to a costume party and the prize was for the lamest plastic cape. Pleather... save the environment and look bad doing it. UGH.

Okay this soap opera dud (the actor was once on One Life to Live) makes a convincing Clark Kent, but frankly... he's not what I loved as a little girl. I always wanted to be Lois as a five year old. Now i'd be happier as Jimmy Olsen. Double YIKES!
Oh and one final grump... Lois has a kid now. Apparently the whole thing is about Superman taking off for a few years only to come back to a cynical world that may not need him (or is use to not having him) and a Lois who has seemed to have moved on. SNNNNNOORRRE. I pray for my old hero.











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