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Tuesday, September 14, 2004/3:03 AM

It's night now but there is no reason why one can not Ob-Zurd stuff going on in this lovely land of Fredonia:

1. No matter what time of day it is, if there is a party going on somewhere in your house/apartment, there's no way in hell you (a paying renter mind you) are going to get a parking spot in your own driveway (grumble, grumble)

2. Charles our local skunk is no more. Alas he was hit by a rather rude driver. I say rude for he was kind enough to deposit Charles body right outside my home.

3. Why do we bother with red lights after a certain time in this town. It's too small, there is no all night traffic. Why can't the red lights be considered 4 way stop signs after midnight? Now that would be nice.

4. Running into Professors and Faculty in the bars can be quite the learning experience. You begin to wonder who hired these people. At the same time it's nice to see they are human too.

5. NEVER, EVER play pool against the oldest men in an college bar. Not only are they looking to grope you (get away from me you skanky old hags) but they KNOW what they are doing. They'll play crappy for about the first five or six shots but once they realize that you want nothing to do with them (or that you are taken) they'll run the table.

6. On a warm still night like tonight, one should take advantage of the weather and sit outside. That is until one gets a good strong whiff of the Purina Dog Food factory in town and retches over the side of the porch.

7. Just when you seem at peace, when the traffic has died down and you can almost hear nature fighting its way into the suburbs, a drunk college student will let out a shout that could rival any Duke boy only to be answered in turn by another drunk student like some sort of strange wild kingdom mating call.

8. Bo Duke is still sexy, (and i don't even really like blondes) i don't care what my friends say. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU my aunts and uncles for sending me b-day money so i could buy the orginial 13 episodes dvd. Now i'm sure to flunk out of college. *sigh* at least i'll be content doing so.

9. I want a '71 roadrunner. Think someone will trade me one for pocket lint?

10. And finally... no matter how dark it gets at night here, all this artificial light makes me long for home out in the country where it gets sooo black some nights you can even see your hand in front of your face. But i suppose if that were the same here in the 'burb's we'd have a lot more drunken students in the road. As it is I find myself swerving around them like construction cones on friday nights.

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